The 100 deadly days of summer

The month of June reminds me of death – the late sunsets, warm humidity, cars decorated with school colors indicating that the passengers had just graduated, memorial services.

Growing up in a small town in the fabled Pine Barrens of South Jersey, every year we lost a student. And it always seemed to be at the end of the school year. All over my school district, there were benches and auditoriums and baseball fields named after young students as memorials. The Chipper Mott auditorium. The Matthew Hammell baseball field. Even the graduation ceremony had a tribute to those we lost each year, like they do at the Grammys. We were an isolated town miles away from the next districts to our north and south. To our west was 1 million acres of dense pine forest which made the perfect playground for “pit parties.”

At a very young age, my friends and I became familiar with funerals. The first I attended was in 4th grade. My father was the emergency room physician whose heart sank in his chest when he saw my young friend brought in by ambulance after he’d been hit by a car playing football in the street. One of the worst jobs a physician has is delivering news of unexpected death to a patient’s family. My dad not only had to tell a young mother she had just lost her son, but he also had to tell his own daughter that she lost her friend. I still remember the hug he gave me when he came home that night.

The next was in high school, a young man named Matt who was hit by a drunk driver while roller blading on Route 9. He was in my spanish class and I considered him a friend.

The list goes on and on. Friends driving off the road coming home from country music concerts in Atlantic City. Choking on vomit. Overdosing from chewing on narcotic patches. Alcohol poisoning. Hangings. Pneumonia. Two boys in one family, two years apart. Seizures. Drunk driving. Drug overdoses. Gun shots. Suicide. Train accidents. On and on and on. It was so bad that to this day, whenever someone asks me on the phone, “do you remember so-and-so,” my reply is always “yeah, why? Did he die?”

The 100 Deadliest Days of Summer, from Memorial Day to Labor Day, is the time period which teens tend to engage in high risk behaviors. This is especially true for seniors who are going off to college.

The freedom of summer lends itself to trying new things. No longer under the watchful eye of high school and yet to be confined by the responsibilities of college, graduates are in a period of limbo. They have just become adults and feel like they can take on the world, live it up while they are young and make memories with friends they might never see again. Of course, this leads to fewer kids wearing seatbelts, increased drug and alcohol abuse and risky sexual behaviors.

Just as kids have the Superman/It-Wont-Happen-To-Me attitude, parents may take on the attitude that kids will be kids. They want prom, graduation and college sendoffs to be memorable. And hey, we survived, right? Parents are equally excited about the milestones in their children’s lives, but their good intentions may end up seeming like they condone risky behavior. Turning a blind eye equals permission in the eyes of a teenager. But while ignorance is one thing, providing the house and the drugs or alcohol is a criminal offense.

Peconic Bay Medical Center, Riverhead CAP and the Riverhead Central School District have joined to host a very special event for the Class of 2013. Intended to de-emphasize pre-prom partying and inform parents about social hosting laws, the Sparkle and Shine Pre-Prom Photo-Op and Reception is being held at Riverhead High School Auditorium on Thursday, June 20th from 4:30-6pm.

The entire community is invited to see our seniors all dressed up on one of the most important and memorable nights of their young lives. Seniors attending the prom will be provided a safe, drug and alcohol-free environment to take photos with their friends and families. They will be introduced to the community one last time before their graduation this weekend. Emceeing the event is Matt Pisani of Clean Slate Living, an organization intended to empower our youth to lead healthy lifestyles. Local favorite WBLI will be on hand providing the music and RHS graduate Gina Akscin will be offering formal photos. The students will have the opportunity to shout out their families, friends and teachers. Parents and community members attending the event will receive information about social hosting and conversation starters – how to talk to your kids about drugs, alcohol, drinking and driving. After their introduction, the seniors will board busses heading for the prom.

Everywhere I go in this small town I meet Riverhead High School graduates. It seems that many will stay here after graduation any many will return here to live and raise their families after college. These kids will become our teachers, lawyers, electricians, police officers and town supervisors. They will run our restaurants, service our boats, bandage our boo-boos. They are the future of this thriving community.

Our local schools and healthcare organization are delighted to show our students how much we appreciate their contributions to our wonderful community. We want our children to know that it is our honor, privilege and duty to provide them with a safe and healthy environment; one to which they will want to return to raise their kids.

June will always remind me of memorial services. But this year, a new kind of tradition is being created – not lamenting our losses but looking forward to our future with all the hope and excitement of an 18-year old. We hope you will join us this Thursday.

To the Class of 2013, we wish you love and luck as you take your next steps forward. Wherever your travels may take you, we hope you lead healthy lives, make smart choices and always remember from where you came!

For more information about the Sparkle and Shine Pre-Prom Event please visit the CAP website www.riverheadcap.org/newsandevents.html or the RHS site: http://www.riverhead.net/HTML/RHS04/News1213/PrePromRedCarpetEvent.htm

For more information about having a safe prom and graduation season: http://theparenttoolkit.org/blog/detail/6-tips-to-create-a-safe-prom-and-high-school-graduation-season-for-your-tee

For more information about Suffolk County Social Hosting Laws: http://www.riverheadcap.org/images/SuffolkCountysSocialHostLaw.pdf

For more information about Clean Slate Living: www.cleanslateliving.org

Alexis Hugelmeyer, D.O. is the wife of Michael, mother of Isabella, 5, and Lance, 3, and a family physician whose passion is hands-on manipulation for treatment and healing of any and every type of medical problem. She is the director of community outreach education at Peconic Bay Medical Center and also a private practitioner in Riverhead, where she has founded The Suah Center for Natural Healthcare. A graduate of Villanova University and New York College of Osteopathic Medicine, she lives in Baiting Hollow.

Look for Dr. Mom every Saturday on Riverheadlocal.com