Summertime is fun-time, so the saying goes. I can attest to the fun part — but not in the usual way. For me and many full-time residents on the North Fork, summer house guests are the norm. July was no exception. Family members were aplenty, they came and went during the month except for one little guy who stayed on for three weeks.
Ah, me! Luca will be 7 in September — and is a lot of boy. This was the first time he was away from his parents for this length of time, and the first time I had Luca around for an extended period. It was quite a learning curve — for me, that is.
As most 7-year-olds Luca has boundless energy. But I am energetic. Or so I thought. I was prepared: I arranged play dates, craft activities, and beach outings. But what I neglected to realize was that the busy schedule I arranged for Luca… included me!
Luca proved to be very chatty, a genetic predisposition, I would venture to guess. Outgoing and curious, he fired a question a minute. By about 4 p.m., I was exhausted. That is when I called upon my relief staff: Luca’s iPad.
During the first week, I taught Luca the concept of quid pro quo: receiving something in exchange for something else.
Me: “Luca, pick up your toys if you want ice cream.” It worked—most of the time.
I was to learn that I was a neophyte when it came to internet content for kids. The game Minecraft is popular. It is made up of blocks, creatures, and community. One can build a work of creation, then knock it down and rebuild a new world. It is a game of exploration, creativity, and survival skills. Luca will need creativity and survival skills to exist in this world.
A series called Minions is centered around little yellow creatures evolved from a single-celled organism at the dawn of time. Minions live to serve but find themselves slaves to evil masters. One minion, Kevin, with the help of his friends, was sent forth to find a new evil boss for his brethren to follow. The minions’ message? beats me. I had to look it up: “Kids are encouraged to follow their dreams and to remember that even the smallest of us is capable of great things.”
One morning, Luca proclaimed I made the best pancakes in the world—a shock to his daddy and uncle. I was known to serve my sons (often soggy) cornflakes. But wait…I was holding a job and going to nursing school at night. No harm done — don’t you think?
What I did not know was that Luca could subsist on ramen noodles and ice cream. When I asked about his food choices Luca said: “Ammie, Daddy and Mommy said you spoil me. This is how you spoil me.” Huh?
Surprising was Luca’s interest and grasp of politics. This is a genetic trait as well. As I recall, world events and politics dominated our dinner table when my sons were young. Luca was adamant about who I should not vote for and why. I chuckled when, while driving, we passed a house with a sign supporting the candidate not of Luca’s choice.
He said: “Ammie, do you think those people need to hear what I have to say?”
Me: “Ah, no Luca. We live in a democracy. We have the right to vote our minds.”
What floored me was that Luca and I both enjoyed the rock group “Imagine Dragons.” Coincidence or genetics? Luca is 7 and I am…well, never mind.
Luca loves my house and its proximity to the beach. One afternoon around 4 p.m., my rest time, he let me know that when he grows up, he will have a house like mine.
Me: “Luca, then I will visit you.”
After a long silence he said: “Ammie, you will be dead.”
But he softened it: “You may be old, but you look and act young.”
Luca turned to his iPad and Minecraft. I was wide-awake mulling over our conversation.
When Luca was tired, he cuddled with me—if you are a grandparent, you know what I mean. I was content to watch Minions , even if its message eluded me, just to have him next to me.
Luca’s early complaint: “Ammie, you kiss me too much.”
A week later: “Ammie, you can kiss me a lot. You need to store my kisses when I go back home. It’s a quid pro quo.”
For those three weeks, we made wonderful memories together. Although it took me another two weeks to recover, I realize the bond between grandparents and grandchildren holds a significant value for both generations. Grandparents can offer emotional support, love and security. We can share family stories and reinforce family traditions.
Our grandchildren can help us see the world through younger eyes, erasing old, tired ways of thinking. The unconditional love that Luca and I share is woven into the fabric of our relationship. In time, our love will continue to be palpable — if only in Luca’s memory. That is enough for me—a quid pro quo!
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