A time to seek the goodness within

“And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.” Genesis 1:31.

I had written about three different reflections for today’s Life on Purpose column. I wasn’t happy with any of them. I was hoping to have lots of time to write during our sojourn with Hurricane Sandy. But life without power leaves one feeling, well, powerless. I found myself exhausted by 7:30pm, thinking it was at least 10pm.

What did I do with all that time? I ate Halloween candy, drank coffee; so glad we ground our beans before the storm and that we use a French press, requiring no power! That was breakfast. Lunch didn’t exist because hurricane lasagna and wine was always served as an early dinner so we could digest it before bedtime! Thanks to a friend loaning us a small generator, we were able to keep the refrigerator running. We also were able to cook on our gas stove and take hot showers, unlike so many of our friends on the North Fork. So I cooked with Johanna. Uncomfortable times call for comfort foods. I also read more books to Johanna and I sorted through piles of bills and mail, worked on organizing things in the house. I kept up to date with the progress of the storm with Riverhead Local’s texts and updates on my phone.

Now, days after Sandy left her mark on the Northeast, I find myself reassessing things; practical things and emotional and spiritual things. For example, just two days before Sandy hit, I was in PBMC emergency room with Johanna who was struggling with vomiting and headaches and possibly having a seizure. As I assessed the situation at home, I realized my hospital bag did not have enough clothes and essentials to spend a week at NYU. I also realized that my lack of organization with paperwork at home was going to make an emergency stay in the hospital difficult. Thankfully, the CT Scan of Johanna’s brain did not show any changes in the most recent bleed, and as her symptoms subsided, we decided to monitor her at home. We think the drop in barometric pressure affected the pressure in her brain. Her neurologist at NYU was wisely concerned about any transfer, not knowing how they would fare in the storm. Our decision proved to be the best one all around. So part of my work, post-storm was to assess my emergency planning and conquer some paperwork.

Then, a call from a very close friend, who lives by the water, prompted another reassessment of my pre-Sandy lifestyle. She has lived alone for 20 years, a very busy professional, who recently lost her executive position with a major firm in New Jersey. But she is never lonely, because she reaches out to so many people, offering her friendship and support. My friend’s home was seriously flooded and she is still without power. It appears she may have to replace all her major appliances and years of memorabilia from her deceased parents are now permanently damaged or destroyed from the 5 feet of salt water which rushed into her home during that fateful storm. She came to visit us later in the week for a night of rest, good food, wine and company. The next day she headed back to conquer more clean- up, as my husband and my son went to help her. When my husband returned he said that it was really hard to face all those memories destroyed and we both decided that we would rather slowly weed through the stuff in our basement while we have light and heat than have to do it in a time of great struggle. Now we are planning to take a little time each week to de-clutter and toss or give away the things we no longer need.

Today, I tried to get some gas. But the lines were long and threatening. Johanna was not feeling well and I just decided to go home. I was taken aback by the accounts of people cursing and threatening one another. Seeing a police presence at the gas pumps was like watching some apocalyptic movie. It was surreal and frightening. I was discouraged and even questioning the innate goodness of human beings.

Thanks to internet connections, and sharing stories with others, I was able to read more accounts of neighbors reaching out to neighbors in times of need. I was thankful for our friends who loaned us their generator and for a darkened church filled with worshippers on the feast of All Saints. I was touched by the stories of our fire fighters and town personnel who worked tirelessly through these long days and nights, for the PBMC medical staff that put the needs of their own families aside to care for the medical needs of our community, and for people like Denise Civiletti and Pete Blasl and their beautiful family, working countless hours, day and night to keep us all connected through Riverhead Local.

These are the times that try us and wear us down. The financial, physical, psychological and emotional stresses of natural disasters can cause us to act in a way that is contrary to the decisions we would normally make under better circumstances. Natural disasters can also bring the best out of us and out of our community.

In Genesis 1:31 it says that “God looked upon all He created and behold it was very good.”
You and I and even that crazy person swearing at you in the gas line are all created with an innate goodness that was meant to make this world a better place. It is times like these that try men and women’s souls. But with a little soul searching and reflection, we can use this time to make the necessary changes that make our lives and the lives of others better. We can assess, simplify and share what we don’t need. We can reach out when we would rather retreat and lend a helping hand when our arms feel too tired to carry another’s load. We can pray for those who have lost loved ones in this terrible disaster, for the parents whose children were swept away in the waves. We can hold our children and our loved ones close and affirm the goodness that is within them. Maybe the gas lines will get shorter, the power will be restored sooner or maybe we will learn ways to use less and help more. Either way, in the short term or for the very long haul, we will be better off if we appreciate the gifts around us and join God in saying, “behold this is very good.”

Eileen Benthal has a B.A. in theology from Franciscan University of Steubenville. She is a writer, speaker and wellness coach at 40DaysToFocus.com and NOFO Wellness Center. She works with clients locally and around the U.S. who are excited about balancing their health in body, mind and spirit.

Eileen and her husband Steve live in Jamesport and have four young adult children. Their youngest, 16-year-old Johanna, is a teenager with special needs. Eileen can be reached at eileenbenthal@gmail.com and facebook.com/40DaysToFocus.

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