A conversation with Blue Duck Bakery’s Nancy Kouris: entrepreneur, wife, mother, personal trainer — and Woman of the Year

Like any small business owner, Nancy Kouris’ days start early and end late. The stress of running a business can get overwhelming sometimes, especially when fatigue sets in and the demands of family life encroach.

“It can wear you down, it really can,” said Kouris, owner of Blue Duck Bakery Cafe with her husband of 41 years, Keith.

The couple, who live in Riverhead, were high school sweethearts who married at 19. They have owned four businesses together, including Blue Duck, which has locations in Southampton, Greenport, Southold and Riverhead. It’s hard work with long hours, many challenges and scarce down time — “Does putting on my makeup count?” — but entrepreneurism is in their DNA.

“By the time we were 25 we had three children, three businesses and a house,” Kouris said in an interview this month. She laughs at herself, offering an assessment of how “crazy” they were and wondering in hindsight, “What was our hurry?”

Being a working mother, particularly a business owner, comes with its own set of challenges.

Seated at one of the bakery’s small tables on a recent weekday morning, Kouris leans forward and confides, “Don’t get me wrong, there is no one in the whole wide world that works harder than Keith. But as hard as he works, I don’t think he realizes the weight that I carry.”

There’s not a working mother in America today who doesn’t know what she’s about to say next.

“We always have toilet paper. We always have milk in the fridge,” she says laughing — but not laughing. The laundry gets done. The groceries get restocked. The kids have their lunches packed, costumes for the school play prepared, Christmas cards for their classmates purchased and new shoes to fit their growing feet. Call it the second shift — or maybe the third.

“It’s just what you do. Most of the time, you don’t even think about it,” Kouris said. It’s no different for any other woman today, she said. “We forget all that we do or what we’ve done — all the sacrifices. We never really look behind us — because we’re too busy.”

She admits to being a lifelong over-achiever, a perfectionist who’d be disappointed if she scored a 99 on a test in school. The oldest of five children, Kouris, 60, was born in Brooklyn and grew up in Lindenhurst. She met her future husband at Lindenhurst High School. They started dating at 16 — they went to the junior prom together — and were engaged at 17.

“How crazy is that?” Kouris smiles. “Looking back on that now…” She shakes her head. “Keith was a good catch,” she says. He was tall, handsome and president of the honor society. She was vice president.

They graduated in 1975 and started college. Neither stuck with it. In retrospect, Kouris says she took too much on — 18 credits in her first semester at Farmingdale State, where she was pursuing a degree in commercial art, a work-study job on campus and a part-time job off-campus.

At 19 they were married and soon after had their first child – and their first business. In 1980 they bought a Bellacicco bread route. Then they bought a deli in Huntington, a Scottish-Irish-English deli, where they learned how to make blood pudding and meat pies — they catered the Scottish fair and games in Old Westbury, supplying 10,000 meat pies. They later opened a bakery in Lindenhurst— the Kouris International Bakery. It was doing well, but Hurricane Gloria struck in 1985 and they suffered a financial catastrophe.

“Our marriage almost didn’t survive,” Kouris says. “But when you bounce back from hard times together, you realize what’s important.”

Working together isn’t easy for a married couple, she points out. “You have to agree to disagree. We butt heads, sure. But you learn each other’s ways.” Her husband wakes up with a smile every day. “I can’t say the same for myself.” He gets quiet when he’s upset and “closes down.”

“I come from an Italian family. I can get very loud.”

Between closing their bakery in Lindenhurst in 1985 and opening the Blue Duck Bakery Cafe in Southampton in 1999, the couple worked at different jobs while raising a young family.

She worked as a makeup artist, a cocktail waitress and a hostess. She took up aerobics and decided to become an aerobics instructor. From there, she became a personal trainer. “It was a natural progression,” she said.

Her work as a personal trainer led to a partnership in a World Gym facility in Hampton Bays. She ran the gym there and helped her husband out in the bakery, which was successful and growing.

In 2006 she and her business partner switched the gym franchise in Hampton Bays to Planet Fitness. When her partner wanted to open a second location in Riverhead, they opened the Planet Fitness on Kroemer Avenue, which she also managed.

Kouris left the gym in 2013. She continued working with her husband in the family bakeries — along with their three children. Their oldest, Christina, 40, is a full-time Blue Duck employee, serving as office manager. Noelle, 37, is a teacher and runs their farmers market stands in spring and summer. Anthony, 35, is a control room operator; he also helps out at Blue Duck, baking alongside his dad.

“When I left the gym, it left a void,” Kouris said. “I felt like I lost my relevance,” she admits. “I’m an ‘out there’ kind of person. I love people. When I went into the bakery full-time, it became behind the scenes.”

Being nominated for the East End Women’s Network “Woman of the Year” award last year buoyed her spirits at a time when she really needed a lift, Kouris said.

“I got re-energized.”

Kouris concedes she was a little disappointed when last year’s award went to another nominee — another dynamo of the business world on the East End, Felecia Wilson.

She says she was shocked to learn she was nominated again this year — and astounded when she was named the winner of the award. The recipient “must demonstrate good character, leadership, community service and achievement,” according to the organization, which was founded in 1981 to provide networking, assistance and education for women on the East End.

“I feel like I’m back,” Kouris says.

“But really — what woman doesn’t deserve this?” she asks. “I think that we all forget our value.”

East End Women’s Network will celebrate the 2018 Woman of the Year on Wednesday, May 30 at the Birchwood of Polish Town. Advance registration is required. Tickets are $45 for members who register online by 10 p.m. on Tuesday, May 29 and $50 for non-members and those without an online registration. Register here.