Simple motherhood: It’s all about love.

I don’t remember Mother’s Day being so complicated when I was growing up.

Dad took us to the grocery store to buy Mom a container full of pansies— one of Mom’s favorite flowers. We made sure it was wrapped in the prettiest foil and that we signed the tiny card tucked in between the petals of those cute little pansies.

We also each made Mom our own secret card and kept it hidden in a drawer until Mother’s Day.

We went to Mass as a family and picked up a special treat at the bakery on the way home. 

Then we sat down on the couch or at the table and made Mom close her eyes until we set up her pansies and her cards. 

She always seemed so surprised and delighted by the handmade cards and gifts— all done as expressions of our love. 

I loved my mom; I told her that everyday. 

We all loved her.

But on Mother’s Day, we made sure Mom sat down to soak it in. 

It all seemed so simple back then. 

But what did I know? 

I was just a child. 

As the Apostle Paul wrote in his famously quoted chapter on love: 

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways” (1 Corinthians 13:1).

What did I know of Mom’s heart — her joys and sorrows. I knew life wasn’t easy but I know she always wanted to be a mom. Mom lost her mother when she was just a toddler. She and her brother were raised by her dad and extended family who came to help. 

Even though she took on the cooking and cleaning and caring for her home at a very young age, my mother wanted to grow up to be married with lots of kids. 

As a mother of eight, she achieved her goal in gratitude, with the grace imparted by the God she served in her Catholic faith. 

The active role of Mom’s  motherhood spanned over 20 years between her eldest and youngest children. My two sisters and I could have hardly understood that by the time she received our pansies and cards—she had watched two sons go off to war, three kids to college, and two daughters married without their father’s blessing.

Still, she sat there surprised and delighted by the handmade cards and the pots of pansies wrapped in pretty foil. 

I imagined that all was perfect in Mom’s world on Mother’s Day because she said so and because I believed her.  

But now I know better— it wasn’t perfect because life isn’t perfect, even on Mother’s Day.

“…For now we see in a mirror, dimly,  but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known..” (1 Corinthians 13:12).

I know my parents struggled with finances, life and love— just like all marriages, including mine. I know there were periods where kids and parents didn’t get along and times when the families didn’t speak.  

And I watched her bury two daughters, one with my father at her side and one she buried alone in her parental grief. 

So, now I know. 

I’ve borne the pain and witnessed the hurt that only began when my womb opened to new life.

Life is not so simple. 

Motherhood is complicated.

But Mom wasn’t lying when she showed her delight, year after year, basking in gratitude at a pot of pansies and hand-crafted cards made in love.

She was grateful to God for the gift of life and motherhood. 

Mom showed me that Mother’s Day is a day that I get to put aside the complications and just be grateful for life and all this love. 

Unlike my Mom, I get to act surprised again as my  daughter who is forever young presents me with a bucket of flowers and a handcrafted card. Making cards is much harder now and her skills are much more limited because of the bleeding that continues in her little brain. 

Still, what Johanna lacks in skill, she makes up for in love.

And so after close to 40 years of motherhood, I still act surprised.

Because while motherhood may be complicated, love is simple and among the greatest of all. 

“ And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.” 

(1 Corinthians 13:13).

Happy Mother’s Day to one and all!